Dancing with The Drummer's Wife

Going teetotal has not affected my enjoyment of going to the pub as much as I expected.

Last week, I sang five karaoke songs completely sober without any sort of nerves. The results can be heard at:

http://www.bandeoke.com/audio%20files.html

My nom de chanson is “Rocking Rob”. I also sang the uncredited “Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick”.

Pictures taken during the performance can be seen here:

http://www.bandeoke.com/toms160507.html

I’m the fool in the white shirt and glasses.

Last night, I went to see a talented local group at a pub. We were sitting at the same table as the drummer’s wife, who fell into conversation with one of my female friends. Eventually, when the band was packing up and a DJ was playing “The Twist”, she asked me if I knew how to twist. When I didn’t take the hint, she asked me to dance with her.

I was up there, dancing away without self-consciousness or fear, even when the drummer glanced at us.

The only real difference being sober made was that after a few songs, while the drummer’s wife and I were holding hands as we danced, I experienced a physiological reaction that I would almost certainly not have experienced if I had had a few pints. Hurrah for me at my age.

After the band and the drummer’s wife had gone, I made some humorous, rather lewd (but not disparaging) remarks to my friends, which I would have previously excused by my drunkenness. Not any more. Now my excuse is that I was in “drunk socialising” mode.

So I’ve done all that on soda water, had as much fun, and saved myself some money as well.

I have celebrated by buying some adequate speakers for my computer.

A New Teetotaller

I Am Now Teetotal

I have joined the merry band of Methodists, Muslims, health fanatics and recovering alcoholics who do not drink. Fear was the spur.

When I was told I had Barrett’s Oesophagus, I received a list of ways to reduce the chances of it causing cancer.

I looked up the survival rate of cancer of the oesophagus, and discovered that it is less than 10% after five years. Oh, how very annoying.

Not smoking, eating fruit and veg and so on were no problem. I can afford to shrink by seven or eight inches before I need to lose weight. But I need to drink little or no alcohol.

Drinking is probably at the root of the problem. I was a binge drinker. I used to go all week without a drink, then go mad at weekends. At one stage, I used to drink so much in an evening and early morning that I lost count.

My drinking has been more modest recently, but still too much. I know that if I drink the odd pint, the number of pints will start to creep up.

So the choice I face is live teetotaller or dead drunk.

Mine’s a soda water.

I Am Dropping to Bits

I have high blood pressure. I’ve had both my retinas lasered to stop them becoming detached. Now I discover that I have Barrett’s Oesophagus and divesticular disease. Lovely.

The obvious question arises: How does Barrett cope? But how rock and roll is divesticular disease? Not rock and roll at all. No romantic condition like drug addiction for me, but a disease that is just plain disgusting. Someone like Kate Moss will go out with a junkie, but I can’t see her going out with someone who has divesticular disease.

Worse yet, one of the ways to reduce the chances of Barrett’s Oesophagus becoming cancerous is to drink little or no alcohol. My social life revolves around alcohol. When I tried for a non-drinking social life by taking up amateur dramatics, I ended up boozing with the other thespians.

My main consolation is that I can sing karaoke sober, and have done so on many occasions.