Personality Tests

Now I understand what happened to me when I joined the Labour Party in the early 1980’s. I was elected branch secretary not long after I joined, then was soon elected constituency secretary. I became exasperated with the shambles I constantly had to deal with, resigned after a fairly short period, and did not renew my membership.

I recently took several personality tests, which indicate that my lack of concern for the feelings of others, rationality and emotional stability make me a natural leader, despite the evidence to the contrary.

I will tend to forgive a colleague’s mistakes, but sack them for repeated mistakes. I could not sack the other Labour Party members, so sacked myself.

When I was young, my only ambitions were to have so much money that I did not have to work, and to understand the Universe. I have now achieved the former and have a much better grasp of the latter.

What now? Have a laugh.

If I were a famous politician, I would be Abraham Lincoln. If I were a classic film, I would be Easy Rider. If I were a superhero, I would be the Green Lantern, whoever he is.

I score low on all the tested personality disorders, except narcissism, which is moderate.

I am destined for the Sixth Circle of Hell, along with all the other atheists. Allegedly.

(Disclaimer: all the tests were self-administered on free websites, and might be total nonsense.)

Google Map Search

The Google Maps search gives some unexpected results. I searched for “prostitute” near my address in Blackpool and came up with the Grand Theatre and the Northern Echo.

The search was made purely out of curiosity, you understand, but I will probably be turning up at the Grand Theatre, clean and happy, with £50 in my pocket.

Drugs Not Bombs

How unlucky is that? Your cannabis plants are in need of fertilizer, so you pop along to the local fertilizer shop. Because you are growing cannabis on an industrial scale, an alert citizen thinks, “fertilizer bomb” and contacts the authorities. You find a whole lot of very well armed people suddenly wanting to talk to you. Several years in prison for drugs offences eventually ensue.

I cannot help finding the plight of the poor criminals exceedingly funny.